It's hump day, y'all! That means that tomorrow is Thursday, Light Up Night is the day after and Thanksgiving shortly follows. Exciting things to come! Today's blog post is another in my 'Real Talk' series. I've noticed a huge amount of personal growth since I've graduated. I've been tested and tested again and I've learned so much about the world and my resilience and perseverance. I've talked a little about this in previous Real Talk posts (catch up
here and
here), and today I am once again getting personal. As much as I love writing #ootd posts, monthly goals and other light, fun posts like that, there's something impacting about my more personal posts. While I'm able to talk through my own problems and my growth in the world, I also have a feeling (or at least a hope) I am helping someone. I have a hope that by opening up here, I make an impact on someone else's life-- I help them see things a little differently, I give them a little bit of confidence. Whatever might be the result, Real Talk posts continue to push what I'm willing to share and help me put to words my worldview and experiences.
Lately, I've realized how much of a coward I've been in my friendships. There, I've said it & I'll be the first to admit it. I've always been terrified to address a friend who has done something wrong or an action they've taken that I've found offense in. Every friendship has their ups and downs-- we wouldn't be human if it didn't happen. For me though, ever since I can remember I've always worried that standing up for myself or addressing an issue would ruin the friendship, so I've ignored it. I've pushed the issue down, thought of anything else to distract me. And I always had the naive thought that this was for the best--that I was helping the relationship. I refused to 'call people out' because I didn't want them to be mad at me. Honestly, this is really how I've functioned in most aspects of my life.
What I've learned since graduating is that addressing these issues or standing up for yourself is a
good thing and can actually help
strengthen a friendship or relationship in the long run. You can't live your life in fear of confronting people--especially when the friendship or relationship means a lot to you. Now, this isn't to say you should fly off the handle every time a problem comes up. While I am the first to admit I get emotional when I am upset, I've found I can discuss issues best when I'm
not foaming at the mouth. (People tend to take you more serious when you use this approach :P ) But even more so, when you do fly off the handle, even if your claim is valid, you may end up doing more damage. (( Cue, my worst fear. ))
Looking back on the times I've stood up for myself or brought up an issue, sure the relationship was strained for a bit. That will happen. But what I've found is that after the smoke clears, the mutual respect has been strengthened and there's an understanding that if something else comes up you'll both be open with each other and able to get through it. It's honestly a work in progress for me and I definitely catch myself falling back into old habits, but I've been trying to make an honest effort. Because, look, if Serena and Blair went through 6 seasons of fight after fight and still came out as
the ruling queens they are, your relationship can, too!
Life may throw hella curve balls at you and there may be times when friendships are tested, but you should never be afraid to stand up for what you believe in or stand up for the friendships and relationships that mean the most to you. Does this resonate with you? Do you feel your relationships are stronger after discussing issues or am I just going crazy?!? :P I'd love to hear your stories in the comments below.
xoxo,
