Keanu Reeves + my zero chill

Hey fam, welcome back! While I love fashion, photo shoots and the like, today I'm going to take a moment to tell one of my favorite stories since moving to NYC. Celebrities are just like you and me, right? They eat, sleep, shop and usually own joggers. While it was not by any means the reason why I moved to the big city, I would be lying if I said a celebrity sighting wasn't a pleasant side-effect of dealing with increased daily anxiety.

One of my favorite NYC stories to date is the story of my fateful run in with Keanu Reeves. Yes, you read that correctly, I PHYSICALLY ran into one of the most famous actors in the entire world-- Keanu Reeves! (Sorry--reelin' it in, guys.) It all started when a co-worker of mine invited me to go out for seafood. A large group had decided to get together and make an evening of it. I remember walking to the train station thinking to myself, "Every time I leave the apartment, something eventful always happens"...

When I finally arrived at the restaurant, a few of my friends were at the bar having a drink, waiting for the late-comers. We chit chatted about nothing in particular-- venting about work, the commute, life-- typical things. When everyone finally arrived and we were ready to be seated, I proceeded to go last for some reason and, being the vertically challenged individual that I am, was easily overlooked. Quite literally. So, I'm making my way past the bar patrons when a gentleman had the audacity to back into me!

My initial thought, once I found my bearings, was that I had just run into someone very wealthy, very influential or both. He had that 'effortlessly important, also trying to hide it, but being extremely obvious nonetheless' look about him. Anyway, so this hotshot backs into me and being the mid-western gal that I am, immediately said/sung my favorite word, "ope!". I paused for (what I hope was) a second while I took him in, then proceeded to do this weird 'bow, one foot out, gesturing him forward' thing and stated "after you, sir" in the WORST BRITISH ACCENT IMAGINABLE.

I am historically excellent under pressure.

Back Story: There are only a few celebrities who can ruffle my feathers if I run into them. The only celeb that would really throw me off is John Mulaney. But I would give my left kidney to him if he needed it, so it's a deep-seated, one-sided love affair and that's all I'm at liberty to say. Anyway, I don't like to be that fan girl. I'd rather have a conversation with whomever it happens to be and treat them just like any one else. My intent with this particular gentleman was to be my usual derpy self. 

Clearly, I took the whole "act natural" thing too far.

Parks And Recreation GIF

The best part of this whole interaction was that I could see his thoughts travel across his face. When he first turned around he was on guard and accessed me immediately. He then went from ready to throw down to completely unconcerned in .06 seconds. "Oh, just some small human with zero coordination or social skills." Pretty fast turn around, if you ask me.

After holding eye contact for what felt like an eternity, I saw him realize that I had no idea who he was and then I knew, that he knew, that I had no idea who he was. He politely smiled at me, put his hand on the SMALL OF MY BACK and said, "no, no after you".

Here was my opportunity to gain a little ground from my awkward beginning.

         THE PLAN:

  1. Start it off by being super derpy and "fun"
  2. real it in
  3. graciously and genuinely thank him
  4. give him a 30watt smile
  5. gracefully walk away
  6. leave him to wonder who that mysterious girl from Claw Daddy's was

Great-- Excellent! I had finished my first interaction with an important NYC person unscathed. I could feel him looking after me and was strutting my most confident walk. Heals tapping without falter, back straight, hair curled and flipped. NAILED IT. Until, oh god, oh no. What?! THERES A STEP?!

Following Sequence of Events:
* ~somehow~ catches herself
*leaves dignity on the floor
*takes seat
*orders two glasses of wine
(just kidding, only one glass)

In my head, I'm still not too worried about it. "Whatever, he'll probably forget in five minutes and I have no idea who he is, anyway." I was nurturing my *slightly* bruised ego back to health when I heard commotion at the table. Hushed whispers. Backs turning. Necks craning. "Aaron, what's going on?" "Dude, Keanu Reeves is at the bar. Been here the whole time!"


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