Story Time: my trip to the ER in Vatican City

Hey there! So lately my Facebook has been showing me throwback pictures to my time in Italy. For those of you who don't know, last summer I spent six weeks in the beautiful city of Genoa studying the language and trying my best not to sweat to death with zero AC or fans in my room. So for today's post I thought it would be fun to share the story of my experience with the Italian health care system....









It started off like any other night in Rome. We had spent the past two days walking furiously around the historic center, trying to see and do as much as we could in our short weekend trip. We visited the vatican, went in St. Peter's Basillica, saw the Column of Trajan, the Forum--the whole nine yards. (Sadly,  The Trevi Fountain was out of commission while we were there.) We walked 14 miles the first day and 12 miles the second day. It was definitely a workout, that's for sure!







On our last night in the city, we decided to take a taste of the night life in Rome. One of the girls I was traveling with had a friend who used to live in Rome during a study abroad trip. She recommended this "American" bar called The Drunken Ship and naturally we had to check it out for ourselves. While there we met a ton of Australians, believe it or not! They were all kids around our age, some younger, who were taking a break from life and traveling all over Europe. I made friends with a small red head who was a hairdresser back in the land down under. She was SUCH a riot and asked us all sort of questions about America. Apparently when she thought of Americans she thought of cowboys and the 'wild west'. To her dismay I had to tell her I didn't know a single "cowboy" and had only ridden a horse as an attraction at my dad's work picnic. Not nearly as exciting as she had hoped. 



We met other Americans, too-- a mother and her family enjoying a night out before heading back to the states and a few archeological students. These students were excavating a live site outside of Rome. So cool!! We were invited by this group to go to a night club.We started our way over, feeling pretty good and walking the cobble stone streets of Rome with not a care in the world. The next turn we made was down what at first appeared to be a deserted alley way. Now, I've seen Taken enough times to know that this was probably not the smartest move. Thankfully this alleyway lead straight to our destination.



We soon figured out that in order for guys to get into the club they had to bring girls. Cool. 


I guess I can't be too upset. We all got in without paying and God knows I needed as many Euros as I could carry. This beautiful apartment turned club was the perfect spot to dance with the girls. I have a newfound love of EDM after my time in Italy. My friend Ariele and I had were walking to the lobby to take a water break when I felt a sharp pain radiate from the bottom of the foot. I looked down just in time to see the stem of a wine glass crash back down to the floor beneath my foot. 










 "I looked down just in time to see the stem of a wine glass crash back down to the floor beneath my foot. "









----Deep breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth.---- 


I'm going to pause at this point in the story to share a little tidbit about myself. Whenever I know I've had too much to drink or think I've overstayed my welcome at a party I immediately bolt. I'm what they call a runner. I know my limits and get myself out as soon as possible without saying another word to anyone.

So as soon as it clicked what has just happened I hobbled my way to my friends, yelled "I need to leave" and made my way to the door before they could even respond. I didn't honestly expect them to follow me. I don't know what I had expected, to be completely honest. I just knew I needed a hospital and I needed one before I lost too much blood. 

My friend later told me that I had disappeared faster than she had been able to process what I had said. If not for the trail on blood following me wherever I went, she would have lost me almost as quickly as I had appeared. 

So here I was standing in the lobby of a Roman dance club with all these couples lounging on white plush couches, girls in clumps gossiping over the hot guys, while I stood ready to pass out dripping blood onto the Italian marble floors. So cute. 

When my friends finally found me reason took over and they immediate elevated my foot with pressure. Shoutout to my girl, Candace, who held my foot to her chest as hard as she could while waiting for the paper towels to arrive. She quite honestly kept me from losing too much blood and passing tf out. (you da real MVP)

So while I'm trying not to hyperventilate and think about all of the blood I've lost one of the Americans from the archeological site showed up to try to calm me down. Now, granted, I was a mess at this point. I had turned pale, I was sweating--all hope looked lost. He's trying to keep me calm, Candace is trying to keep my foot from leaking all of the blood in my body, suddenly all of the happy go lucky people in the lobby are hella concerned, convinced there about to see someone die, and my friend Ariele is furiously arguing with the bouncer trying to get them to call us a cab to the hospital.

You see, Italians are great until something goes wrong. And then they want nothing to do with it. Which makes absolutely zero sense because an American dying in the lobby of your dance club sounds like bad publicity to me. Just saying. So after about 5-10 minutes of them arguing back and forth I realize he's not going to budge. Ironically enough, the day before we left for Rome one of our teachers told us that in order to get anything done in Italy, you have to put up as much of a fight to them as they're giving you.

Time to put my acting pants on. 

In the next moment I start wailing. I'm not holding an ounce back. Tears are flowing, I'm panicking-- I'm basically the fish in any Spongebob catastrophe screaming "MY LEG" only its "MY FOOT!". All of this in front of the already freaked out patrons in the lobby--at least all the ones who haven't already peaced out by now. 

This archeological guy is suddenly just as freaked, trying to get me to calm down. (Something about not wanting me to pass out.) I pause, look him dead in the eye and whisper, "I'm acting". He looks like he's just been hit over the head and has no idea how to react. I, on the other hand, have not missed a beat and am back to wailing at the top of my lungs about dying and loss of blood and blah blah blah. 


After about 30 seconds the bouncer concedes, calls the cab and pays for our fair. I like to think that was my first official, paid acting gig. Only Candace and this guy are cued in on my acting. Everyone is convinced I'm about to die in front of them. God knows I was trying to pretend that wasn't on my mind also.







To be continued...



17 comments:

  1. ahhhh! To be continued....I really want to know what happens next! :)

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  2. This is hilarious! Sorry, it's at your expense. I'll look forward to the rest!

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  3. Ugh, this totally sounds like something that would happen to me. :(

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  4. Funny! What a way to make a scene and on purpose! That's so great that you're in Italy to learn the language and take in the culture.

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  5. This is awesome and visual and well written. Good work girl!

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  6. omg what a cliffhanger! That's so scary I'd be legit freaking, not acting at all lol!

    xoxo, Sam | thehauntedhousewife.com

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    1. I think if I would have actually freaked out, I probably would have fainted, which would have made the situation 10xs worse! Looking back, I'm so thankful I kept my head.

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  7. Great story! I must visit the Vatican City one day.

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    1. It's absolutely breathtaking! I would 100% recommend a visit if you can :)

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  8. oh my gosh, I'm hanging on by a limb here. Where's part two?!

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    1. Part 2 is being released tomorrow at 10!!

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  9. Oh no! I am really interested to hear what happens next!

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  10. I'm a runner.. haha. We have the same tactics! I'm excited to read part 2 . I've had nights like that... I once woke up fully clothed in a running shower with a stranger on my couch someone else phone in my purse. Stories are still being told of that night, however, when I was in Italy I was honeymooning and getting drunk on gelato!

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    1. That sounds like such a crazy night!!! I'm already intrigued, hahah. The gelato there is amazing! I would eat it almost every day and I actually lost weight while there! But Part 2 actually just went up if you're still itching to find out what happens next!

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  11. What an experience! I had to visit a hospital in the Philippines once and it was an unreal experience. A hospital is not a good place to deal with culture shock!

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    1. In the Philippines?! Oh my gosh, I don't know what I would have done in that situation. I completely agree--a hospital is the LAST place you want to deal with culture shock and figuring out the language!

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