A friend of mine explained education and post grad in a way that really stuck. We are programmed our whole lives to move forward-- to move up. We go from grade one to two... from five to six... all the way up from junior to senior. Each year, we progress forward. And this progression is inevitable. It's what we are taught from an early age. If you aren't progressing-- moving forward, moving up-- there's something wrong. You've done something wrong.
When I graduated I felt the world at my feet. I walked across the stage at my department graduation and could image all the different paths my life could take me. At times now, I honestly have the same feeling. I am young. I will be the first to admit that. If I want to up and move across the country-- or across the world for that matter-- I could. There's nothing, save finances, holding me back. But as I sit in my apartment right now, contemplating my future, I don't feel the same excitement I once felt. And that's because life isn't always a constant growth.
Sometimes you sit still and wonder where the path you're on is leading you.
You wonder if it's leading you anywhere worthwhile at all.
And that's where I'm at right now.
"Where is this taking me?"
Because quite honestly, at this point in my life, I'm at a standstill. I'm a waitress at a restaurant in town. Cool. Good job. Glad I got an education for this. I spent my entire collegiate career convincing everyone who asked that an english degree wasn't a waste of time. That I could do something with my time when I graduated college. They all looked at me with skepticism. They all questioned who would want to hire an English Literature graduate.
And I was so confident that someone would immediately hire me. I got great grades, made the Dean's list, took up not only one but two leadership positions and studied abroad in a foreign country in a language intensive program. I helped produced an amazing musical, helped coordinate a service sorority with over 200 members, completed over 150 hours of service, got an internship with the government and worked my ass off to finish undergrad a full semester early. I am a dedicated, loyal, hard working individual, but if someone asks me what I'm doing postgrad? oh... I'm a waitress.
Now, I know something will come my way eventually because it's not that I haven't gotten job offers. Common sense and my dedication to finding the right job tells me that it will eventually find its way to me if I keep working hard. It just takes time finding the right job.
And this is what they don't tell you when you graduate. While there are some individuals who go on for more education and individuals who get hired right out of school, there are some who wait. Sometimes, you don't move forward. Sometimes you stand still and wait. And while I'm enjoying this odd time in my life, I can't help but wonder when it will end.
So I'll continue to fill my time with blogging, serving tables and anxiously awaiting interviews, because I know eventually I will get hired. Eventually, I will take that first step. It just takes some people longer than others. And for those of you out there in limbo with me, seriously, you're not alone. It happens more than you know. Hang in there & keep doing what you're doing.