I'm Moving to New York City!!

Okay, real talk - I'm a mess. But the best kind of mess. The kind of mess where you have so many opportunities spinning around your head and the world is at your fingertips and you feel like you could do everything and anything and it's so unbelievably overwhelming! (gasps for breath) And sometimes you just have to sit and let it all rush over you before you can form competent thoughts. I'm that kind of mess.





If you haven't caught on already, I'm moving to New York City!! I know, it's very surprising. If you had asked me in the beginning of February where I would be moving come July, I would have said ten minutes down the road. Seriously. I was already eyeing up an apartment.

So, why now? Well, back in February my relationship with my boyfriend ended. And as much as I want to say this move has nothing to do with that, I would be lying if I said that. Because if things had continued as they had for the past year, I would be living in Pittsburgh. No questions asked. I would have only dreamed about the possibility of living in NYC. But I finally realized I have to start doing things for myself. I have to be selfish and take risks.

Now, I have to give you a little backstory to this decision because as much as it was kick-started by the closing of one door, my moving to NYC had been written in the stars years ago.

I was made to live in New York City.

Real talk.

The first time I visited I was terrified. I almost had a panic attack when I emerged from the tunnel in the heart of the city. I had never seen buildings so tall. I had never been surrounded by so much all at once. But after the initial shock, I couldn't remember a time I've ever felt more alive. I knew I was supposed to eventually live there. Every part of me knew.

When I first started the job hunt December before I graduated, I pulled up "fashion" jobs in New York City. I took a glimpse at the life I had always wanted, but never thought I was good enough for.  I remember seeing a fashion writing job at Glamour and thinking that was my dream job-- writing for a fashion magazine in the city I had fallen madly in love with living the life I had only dreamed I could have.

But I am me (weird how that works out..) and I told myself every excuse in the book-- not enough money, not enough experience, not enough, not enough, not enough. I was not enough. And that was the problem. One of the things I learned from the ending of that relationship was that I am enough and I have always been enough. Self doubt has killed every dream I've ever had. It was only when I pushed past that self doubt that I ever got anywhere.






Even now I can see those thoughts of self doubt creep in. And it's terrifying as hell. But I am so ready to stop telling myself no. And now that I realize how much of a mental block my self doubt is I've been able to recognize it when its happening and stop it in it's tracks--- working EVEN HARDER to make my dreams a reality.

Soooo, I've been applying to every and any fashion, writing, marketing, social media, pr---- any job that I see and feel excited about. I've been calling companies and recruiters with a renewed vigor. I will get a job in New York City. And if something doesn't come up by the time my lease ends in July, I am still moving. Because if I can live by myself and support myself in Pittsburgh why the hell can't I in New York City??

So this is why things have been a little quiet on the blog front and may honestly be a little quiet for a while. Every free time I have has been devoted to either a) working to save up money for this move or b) applying for jobs, hunting down recruiters emails/ phone numbers and annoying the hell out of them until they hire me.... in a very professional manor, of course. :) I will definitely still be posting, but it won't be as frequent as it used to be.



This is my life-- messy, confusing, and a little unstable-- but exhilarating. I've never felt more terrified or more alive. I'm terrified because things might end up--- scratch that-- because they will end up falling into place. Because I am finally being selfish and doing something for myself and putting my dreams first & its terrifying. But I am beyond ready for this life. I am beyond ready for everything the universe and God has to offer me. And I will fight like hell to make it mine and show everyone myself that I am worth it.

I am enough. 






xoxo,



Instagram / Twitter / Facebook / Snapchat: rgolden75 / Bloglovin'

24 comments:

  1. I 100% agree with all this! I'm 23, and I feel that self-doubt allll the time. What am I doing here? Why are people even listening to me? There's no way I can handle all this...

    I try to think about how EVERYONE starts at 0. Everyone starts with not knowing anything, so it's impossible to compare yourself now to a 40 year old who has spent 20 years building her career. Congrats on your move to NY - I know you can do it and good luck!

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  2. Omg!!! So incredibly excited for you!!! Good for you for putting your happiness first and taking the risk. It will be very scary but SUPER exciting! I'm excited to follow your journey!!

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  3. AMAZING! Love your determination and your go-getter attitude. I love that you're prioritizing your goals and that you're being realistic about how much time you'll have for blogging. Wishing you the best in your journey!

    Jenn
    www.honeydewblog.com

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  4. I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU! Seriously. I just want to give you a big hug. Right on, girl! We'll have to meet-up! I'm about an hour away! <3

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  5. How exciting for you!! I know you will love NYC.

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  6. Wow!! This is just so exciting! In fact, I am excited for you! Congratulations on NYC! :D

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  7. This is exciting news. I used to live in New York City. I loved it. If I had my way, I would move back today. I wish you success and grand times. You'll love it.

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  8. so proud of you for making a bold move...life is always messy in one way or the other but you just have to move forward, give your 100%, and hope for the best. im excited for your adventure.

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  9. Wow! What exciting news! Way to go for taking a leap. :)

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  10. That is so exciting! One of my best friends moved to NYC last May and LOVES it!

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  11. Love, love, love this! I wish you all the best of luck! You can do anything girl!

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  12. I moved to NYC when I was 20 and I was so nervous that my eye twitched for the few weeks before I moved. I thought I was so out of place, but within 20 or so minutes of walking around, someone actually came up to me for directions. So you'll fit in faster than you think. And if you don't find your dream job right away, check out the temp agencies. I had good luck with those, and they're really accommodating.

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  13. How exciting! I'd love to even visit NY let alone live there! Hope it all works out for you!x

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  14. Congratulations! Self doubt can make things so difficult sometimes, but you just have to fight through it. Good luck on the job hunt!

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  15. Good luck to you in the bustling city. I am sure you will fit in perfectly.

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  16. Let go of the self-doubt and enjoy the ride. This is your prime years! Enjoy. So excited for you, please keep us up to date πŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜Š

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  17. Awe!!! I am SO EXCITED for you Rach!!! Next time I'm in the city (probably Aug), we will have to get together!!! Let me know if you need anything at all <3

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  18. Congratulations! You'll love living in NYC. I can't wait to read about your adventures!

    Greta | www.gretahollar.com

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  19. This is so exciting! Self doubt definitely get's the best of me too, but leaning on the Lord really helps! Can't wait to follow along!

    Lauren
    https://www.basicbabelauren.com

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  20. Congrats! That's so exciting, I lived in NYC for a year and loved every second and would love to move back. I have lived in a lot of different states and it is amazing, good luck to you.

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